Everyday I check my social media, but just this morning while scrolling through my timeline I realized that I only see perfect lives, perfect bodies, perfect relationships. Everybody screaming to the world that they are happy and that I should be happy too.
But how can I be happy? How can I live comparing my life to those images full of photoshop, and empty visits to exotic places just to have the perfect picture to share?
I must admit, been there, done that…
Debating if it was too early to start with a shot of vodka or if I should go with a mimosa, I got to do, what I usually avoid using sarcasm, see my reality. I live in a city with a population over 8 millions and I felt alone.
I’ve surrounded myself with useless companionship that have me questioning what Im doing with my life and why I feel so lonely when I’m usually around people.
It’s my life, and if I’m not happy… what the hell do I have to do to make my peace with it?
After overthinking shit, and talking to my closest analyzer, (my best friend), I realized that I have to start taking responsibility over my actions.
I tend to blame everything that doesn’t go “right” in my life on others.
If something is affecting me, it’s my
fucking fault if I don’t walk away from it.
No one but me is responsible of my happiness. I have to stop believing in shit like “maintain a positive attitude”… Because is ok to feel angry after someone hurt me or if my “dream job” turned into a nightmare.
I have to acknowledge that I saw the signs, I ignored them and I decided to stay.
Jess, stop crying over the spilled milk. Find swiffer and clean it… You should be grateful that it wasn’t the vodka.
But, one thing is being aware that I’m accountable over my choices… But what the fuck should I do with others’ actions? Why should I suffer the consequences for other
Well, there’s something I MUST DO, and I just hate it… I have to suck it.
I know, is not fair, but no one said it would be easy. I have to accept that sometimes people can be as selfish as I am, and they won’t care about my “precious feelings” lol.
So what now?
Learn to let go and stop choosing to be the victim!
Once I read,
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams”
I need to accept that I’m not the only one broken, and everybody is damaged in their own unique way.
I can’t control how people around me reacts over their own unhappiness.
So, this is me letting it go…